The Science Baby

In the last episode of The Science Baby Podcast, we talked about the practical side of IVF: who is eligible, what testing happens beforehand, and what the procedure itself actually involves. It was the nuts-and-bolts episode. Necessary. Reassuring. Very science-forward.

But it skipped something important.

It skipped the squishy human stuff.

In this latest episode of The Science Baby Podcast, we turn our attention to the lived experience of IVF: the emotional whiplash, the physical aftermath, and the quieter psychological impacts that can linger long after treatment ends. IVF doesn’t stop affecting you when you get a positive test. For many parents, that’s when a different phase really begins.

Below is a guided walk through what we discuss, drawing together the research, the clinical realities, and the parts that are rarely spelled out clearly.

The Long Tail of IVF

One of the ideas we return to again and again in this episode is that IVF can have lasting impacts. Not in a dramatic or guaranteed way, but in a subtle, accumulative sense.

For Leila, this wasn’t something she considered much while undergoing treatment. Like many patients, the focus was on getting through each stage, each injection, each appointment. IVF encourages short-term thinking because emotionally, that’s often the only survivable way through.

Only later does the question arise: what did all of this do to me?

The Additional Benefits of IVF

IVF is often framed purely in terms of burden and risk, but we also explore some of its less discussed advantages.

These can include genetic testing of embryos, which may reduce the likelihood of certain inherited conditions, and highly tailored medication protocols that are adjusted to your individual biology. IVF is, in many ways, one of the most closely monitored and personalised forms of reproductive care available.

That doesn’t erase the difficulty of the process, but it does offer an extra incentive.

How Long Does it Take?

Although a single IVF cycle rarely lasts more than a month, the whole treatment process is rarely quick. Even when things go smoothly, the process can stretch over months or years. Each stage introduces new waiting periods, each one loaded with hope and dread in equal measure.

Being inside that timeline feels very different from seeing it laid out on paper. Time can feel suspended, distorted, or unbearably slow. Many people describe putting their lives on hold, emotionally and practically, while treatment unfolds.

And crucially, IVF is not static. Treatment protocols can change between cycles. Medications may be adjusted. Outcomes can vary dramatically from one round to the next. That uncertainty can be one of the hardest parts to live with.

The Emotional Landscape During Treatment

There’s a lot to be said for the emotional experience of IVF while it’s happening, and in its aftermath. Anxiety, hope, grief, hypervigilance, numbness, and moments of intense attachment can all coexist, sometimes within the same day. Leila chose a pragmatic approach to the treatment while it was happening, but has paid the price with a form of PTSD after the fact.

Of course, hormonal medication can amplify emotions, but it would be misleading to blame everything on hormones. IVF is emotionally taxing because of what’s at stake, because of how little control patients ultimately have, and because disappointment is always a possible outcome.

After IVF: When the Feelings Don’t Disappear

There’s a common assumption that if IVF is successful, the emotional strain evaporates. In reality, many people report a second emotional adjustment phase after treatment ends.

This can include difficulty trusting the pregnancy, complicated feelings about one’s body, or a sense of emotional exhaustion once the adrenaline of treatment wears off. Even joy can feel fragile.

For those whose treatment is unsuccessful, the emotional aftermath can be even more complex, involving grief that is often poorly recognised or supported.

The Physical Experience, Both During and After

IVF is physically demanding. In the short term, during treatment, people may experience pain, bloating, fatigue, and other side effects from the medication. After treatment, some notice changes that take time to resolve, while others feel physically altered in ways that are hard to describe or measure.

The episode also explores a subject especially close to my heart: how IVF pregnancies are often classified as high risk, even if they’ve proceeded without complication. This classification can bring increased monitoring, but it can also introduce pressure toward intervention during birth, in ways that feel automatic rather than individually justified. And since one intervention so often leads to another, IVF mothers can quickly find themselves losing control of the process.

Longer-Term Medical Questions

There is ongoing research into possible longer-term medical risks associated with IVF, both for parents and for children conceived through treatment. The evidence is nuanced and still evolving, but after some 12 million successful IVF pregnancies, there are no stand-out trends.

There is suggestion that hormonal treatment can increase the risks of ovarian conditions like cysts and cancer, but these links are complicated by the many other influences that come into play during this chapter of life.

What Are the Chances IVF Will Work?

Everything that IVF entails: the physical procedure, the benefits, risks, and psychological impacts, should be considered alongside the chances of success.

Overall, the chances of a particular IVF cycle being successful are about 1 in 3, but these statistics vary massively depending on age. Younger mothers have a chance of success approaching 50:50, while IVF in older mothers only has a 16% chance of working.

However, if you’ve been struggling with fertility for years, then even multiple attempts can help to shorten the timeline.

Supporting Yourself Through IVF

Starting, or even just considering, IVF treatment can be overwhelming from both a practical and an emotional point of view.

Luckily, throughout the process you are never truly alone. The nature of the involved medical procedure means that you will be regularly interacting with doctors, consultants, and other practitioners.

So our take home advice for dealing with all of the squishy stuff is…make use of those people.

Ask questions!

And ask questions while you’re still in the room.

How many of us are guilty of nodding and smiling and then walking out of the door not really having a clue what’s going on? Well this is not the time for British politeness.

It’s your body, and they’re the ones that know what they’re talking about, so…talk!

If you’re considering IVF, currently undergoing treatment, or living in its aftermath, this episode is for you.

You are not imagining the complexity. And you are not alone.

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