Parenting today often feels like walking through a minefield of opinions. Whether it’s about how we feed our babies, whether we use car seat mirrors, or even whether a mum can enjoy a glass of wine while breastfeeding, there seems to be no shortage of strong voices ready to weigh in.
If you’ve ever scrolled through the comment sections on parenting content (ours included!), you’ll know just how intense and judgmental these discussions can get. And for new parents, already balancing sleepless nights and a flood of anxieties, this judgment can cut deep.
The Pressure of Parent Shaming
Parent shaming is everywhere, online and offline. It stems from the myth of a so-called perfect parent: someone who follows every guideline flawlessly, breastfeeds without issue, never co-sleeps, never drinks, never uses shortcuts, and never needs a break.
But here’s the truth: that parent doesn’t exist.
Every parent makes compromises. Every parent weighs up risk and benefit. And every parent, at some point, feels the heavy weight of guilt for not living up to impossible standards.
Even evidence-based, science-driven parents (yes, that includes us!) can find themselves lying awake at night wondering if they’ve made the “wrong” decision.
Why Official Parenting Advice Sounds So Strict
Most of the recommendations we hear from health authorities are grounded in research but these are often from small studies or limited datasets. And because these organisations have a responsibility to protect babies at all costs, they err on the side of extreme caution.
- Formula prep machines aren’t recommended because there have been rare cases of babies getting sick.
- Breastfeeding is encouraged because on average, breastfed babies show slightly better health outcomes early in life.
- Co-sleeping is discouraged because it’s linked with a higher risk of sudden infant death.
These are real risks, but they aren’t the whole story. The data doesn’t always account for every family’s circumstances, needs, or trade-offs.
Parenting Decisions Are About Balance
Here’s what’s important: there are risks and benefits to every decision you make.
- One parent may decide that co-sleeping helps everyone get better rest, reducing other risks like exhaustion.
- Another may choose a prep machine to make night feeds manageable and consistent.
- A third might strictly follow every guideline because that gives them peace of mind.
All of these choices can be valid. Because every baby is different. Every family is different. And the “right” decision depends on your unique situation.
How to Navigate Risk Without Guilt
No one else knows your context. And no one else has the right to shame you for the decisions you make.
The best approach is to:
- Inform yourself about the available options and the evidence behind them.
- Understand the risks and benefits of each path.
- Make the choice that works for your family, with confidence.
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Parenting rarely is. But guilt and judgment aren’t productive. They just drain the energy you need to care for yourself and your child.
A Reassuring Reminder
Here at Science Baby, we’re not in the business of giving prescriptive parenting advice. We’re about evidence, facts, and helping you feel informed.
And if we were going to offer one recommendation, it would be this:
👉 Listen to the science. Ignore the shamers.
We’ll keep using car seat mirrors and a formula prep machine, because for us, the benefits outweigh the risks. For you, it might be different, and that’s completely okay.
You’re not failing your child because you don’t live up to some mythical “perfect parent.” You’re doing your best in a world full of noise, and that is more than enough.
So in case no one has told you today: you’re doing a great job.
The Science Baby 
Leave a comment